


Just Trust Me

by JamesAeza



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Blood, Restraints, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamesAeza/pseuds/JamesAeza
Summary: It's 2am and this could definitely be better. I also procrastinated on Malfunction for this. Maybe someone will read it. Here goes.
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	Just Trust Me

As if he couldn’t see. The dark circles under his eyes. The way he shied away from the touch that he was usually so desperate for. The big, fake smile and the forced jokes.

Something was very, very wrong with Patton. And he was trying to hide it. 

Well, maybe he could lie to most of them, but he couldn’t lie to Janus. He always knew when Patton was putting up a false front. There was something about his demeanor. It was just… off. 

And despite not knowing what to expect when he knocked on the door, this possible outcome had never even crossed his mind. 

Patton had not answered for a solid two minutes. When Janus knocked again, he’d called out, with a little too much cheer in his voice, “Sorry kiddo, I’m sorta in the middle of something. Maybe come back later?”

“Are you all right, Patton?”

“Oh, Janus, it’s you! Yep, I’m just dandy in here! Just give Dad a couple minutes to get sorted out!”

The lack of truth in the statement had sent Janus reeling. He did represent deceit, after all. He could smell a placating lie a mile away. 

He knew he couldn’t force the truth out. He also knew that the lock on the door would not hold up after he decided it wouldn’t. He didn’t even have to force it, just focus on opening it and give the knob a gentle turn. 

The scene before him was certainly… unexpected. Patton wasn’t wearing a shirt. His chest was covered in bruises, wrists covered in fresh gashes and healed-over scars. Sticky red blood, over the floor and the razorblade still clutched in his tight grip. 

Janus was not sure of the correct way to respond to that. Patton looked like a deer caught in the headlights. 

He figured a good first step would be to take the blade, which was quickly surrendered. He carefully traced his fingers along the injuries, careful not to cause more pain than already self-inflicted. 

He helped Patton to his feet.  _ He was so skinny, when did he get so skinny?  _ He carefully led him into the bathroom, where he seated him on the edge of the tub and found a first aid kit. 

He didn’t want to hurt him any more, but some things needed to be done. He tried to be gentle, he really did, but his hands were shaking. He couldn’t stop the whimpers that periodically escaped Patton, which made his heart break. 

“Don’t tell the others,” was the first sentence that managed to escape him through the pain. Janus just nodded, unsure if it was a promise he could, or should, keep. 

As he finished bandaging the cuts, he helped the other to his feet. As he stumbled a little, Janus caught him and just picked him up all the way. Patton shook his head blearily. 

“You don’t have to do that.”

Janus ignored him, flooding with concern. He couldn’t leave him alone now. He gently set Patton down on his bed, pulling his desk chair close to it and seating himself, resigned to spending the night there. 

He carefully placed several large pillows by the front of the bed, lifting Patton onto them and propping him up. 

“That really isn’t necessary-”

He silenced as Janus grabbed his idle hands in his own. He would not let Patton obsessively hurt himself further. 

He shook his head, brown curls falling into his face. “Why are you doing this for me?”

Janus looked away, trying to control the faint heat forcing its way onto his face, before quickly regaining control. “ _ I _ ask the questions right now. And what I want to know is… why?”

Patton shook his head again, trying and failing to take his hands back. “You wouldn’t understand,” he muttered uncomfortably. “I deserve this. I  _ need _ it.”

Janus was feeling a lot of things, not one of which he was sure of how to put into words. So he tried a simple, vague response. “You think so.”

Patton just sighed, once again pulling at his trapped hands. “Janus, please let go.” Janus shrugged and did so, but before Patton could move his hands again, they were bound together with zip ties. 

“That’s not funny, Janus.”

“Of course it’s not fucking funny.”

“Take it off.”

“You were  _ hurting _ yourself. On  _ purpose. _ ”

“Yes, clearly! Now let me go!” He was obviously working himself up. Janus, suddenly more scared than he’d felt in years, whispered,

“I can’t let you do this to yourself.” Patton went silent, unsure how to react to what felt like a confession. 

He sank back onto the pillows, allowing the bindings for now, though he still wasn’t comfortable. He wasn’t sure why Janus was still here. 

Watching over him. 

“I’m not worth this.”

Hearing that one almost hurt him physically. Physical pain actually sounded pretty good right about now. Anything other than sitting helplessly, watching Patton torture himself both mentally and physically. 

Janus balled his hands up tightly out of nerves. “I’m not a therapist,” his voice was rough, “but I’m doing my best to guard you from your own head.” 

Patton struggled fruitlessly before trying to relax once again. 

“Maybe you should just sleep.”

Patton just looked away, ignoring the suggestion.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I…” Patton blushed a little, unsure if this was an okay thing to ask of the other side. “Could you lay down with me?”

As much as Janus did not want to admit it, he felt heat creeping into his cheeks. Anything for Patton, though. And he did not take one bit of pleasure in sliding in next to the slim figure, wrapping an arm around him… 

None at all. 

He would never. 

Patton, despite lacking use of his arms, managed to curl into Janus, who tentatively pulled him in for a hug. He slowly rubbed comforting circles on his back, and found himself mumbling calming words. Maybe lies, maybe truths. Who knew, really.

“You’ll be okay.”

“Everything will be alright.”

“You can trust me.”


End file.
